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Sweet times.
I envy those who have partner. I envy those couples walking hand by hand right in front of my eyes. I envy those couples that kiss behind my back. I envy those couples who always stay true to their relationships.  Why can't I do that? Is there something wrong with me? Not at all, they just don't know I exist. I am always invisible and unknown. I'm always at the corner observing everyone. Only special people knows that I exist. I always wanted a partner to last forever with. Someone I can be silly, stupid and funny at the same time. I always wanted a partner who can understand every strands of my mistake. I always wanted a partner who I can hide my face behind. Someone I can pull when I'm shy.  There's nothing but a wish to love someone with all my heart. I did that once and its all gone for ones PROBLEM. That will never be repeated anymore. Only that same person can help me do it. I prayed everyday for number 26 to start over. I close my eyes tightly and wish it was all just a dream. I feel sorry. I feel stupid. I feel lifeless. I feel EMPTY. Where can I find something to fill it? Certainly, by seeing you. I'm full already. I never forget the words I spit out just for you. Never ~ Those words you hear from me won't be heard by anyone. I whisper to myself that everything will be alright. Keep smiling and slowly putting things back to its right place. Just smile and nobody will know how crushed you are inside. I hate to put that smile. Because I know on the inside, I'm crushed. I hate to admit that -I'm fine- millions of times. I want to tell the world how crushed I am and how pathetic I am. Love is dangerous. Either you fall on your own or you'll purposely fall. Can you keep up with me? Want me to help you? I wanted to be that girl who don't care and just kiss you in public. But I'm not that girl ~ How I wish I can change what I did. But I love everything that happens. Family always says, -what happens between you and him, have a reason- I know now, it's up to you to decide. I won't think twice to accept you again. |
